Incoherent notes

Spotify will mix you a broken heart playlist

The playlist includes Fiona Apple, When the Pawn (do you remember when I spiraled, went to bed the same way and you came to comfort me? But you said you weren't going anywhere, now you're gone)

I'm not sure I'm ready for the angry playlist yet, stuck in my plight (I told you I found your rants endearing But I never loved who you were on Twitter, picking fights )

Most days, I listen on repeat in the dark of dawn until the sun rises, and I make some tea (remember when we stayed up all night, just touching each other? But you slept alone, always, curled up away from me)

I only left bed yesterday to get my crown and go on a date, I stood in the sun (You showed me a new kind of relationship, that fits me for now But I'm not sure you really understood my compersion)

I keep running my tongue over the crown, new and unmarred (We could never stop kissing each other But you'd never go to the dentist for your own fucked up teeth even though it isn't that hard)

I'm a mess, a wreck, they're sending people over worriedly (You said you loved me But now you're only hurting me)

They're sending memes and flowers (You used to send me Reels, as if to say you're thinking of me But you never met my friends, and I never met yours)

Nothing tastes good, I have no appetite (We used to cook for each other But you always run away from a fight)

Wrap me up in notes, seal my body with song, Spotify mixed me a playlist to see me through heartbreak, To nurse this ache

--

I can feel my heart, forever broken and mended again (You'd put your hand on my chest, calming me But I always had to run back to you, even jumping on a plane)

Let's skip this song, it cuts too deep, maybe I need to go see the coast (The best road trips were ours, silent and laughing and everything in between But part of me always knew you'd ghost)

Stuck staring at my phone, what do to with the little green dot by your name (Simultaneous conversations, we were here and there But if I keep doing this I'm going to go insane)

The playlist has ended, now we're on repeat and eventually all this will end You always said you didn't want to disappoint me But now you have, nothing left to defend)

I'll be here, awake I promise I'll be done soon And I'll land far away from you Forever nursing my wounds


3 months ago

P. Kim Bui